This post comes a week after I had a pretty exciting, bad accident, avoiding a black bear cub who stepped out in front of me on the road. I hyroplaned, skidded, hit the bank, flipped, rolled more than once and ended up mostly upside down/on the side against the bank - all in less than 3 seconds, I think. Imagine my shock and awe, when after climbing up and out of my truck (which was quite a challenge, doors being super heavy when held shut by gravity), I did not notice any significant pain in my body. I imagined I might be in shock and just not noticing everything, but I was able to walk up and down the road, seemingly intact. There was blood down my shirt, and I could feel minor cuts and such, and there was a place on my head I felt had glass in it (I hoped not too deep), but all in all, I felt pretty good. That was shocking to me because a very brief moment earlier, I was sure I was going to die. When I was headed for the bank straight on, I didn't think any other outcome was possible - that was the end.
I am most grateful for grace and whatever spirits or beings helped me to survive this. It seems most unlikely.
At the river yesterday, the first rock I picked up had a cross on it - one line (the longer one) was white, the shorter one crossing it on the other axis was iron oxide color. Fro me, the white (vertical) axis represents the spirit. The iron (horizontal axis) represents humankind (iron being a main component in blood). I have long seen it this way - that we are anchors for spirit, sending it forth across the world.
Then I balanced a large white stone on one of the river boulders. Next, I slipped into the river, halfway, and stood in the river’s sway, shared some of my DNA, sending it down the river’s way, feeling how inextricably we are all connected/related. After submerging I found a yellow/golden triangular stone resting on an underwater boulder - its brightness made it stand out (at first I thought maybe it was an orange peel), and it was the only thing resting on this boulder, other than silt. It was a fragment of a much larger stone, rounded on one side as if the curved face, that had been chipped off by some great force. Emerged from the river, I began balancing rocks on the river boulders. Several along the lower stretch, right at the river’s edge just above seven foot falls. It’s been a while since I’ve balanced rocks, too long perhaps, and it felt good to set some up and step back and see their line, their grounding.
Then I lay across a boulder to soak in some sun, to ground, to meditate and open to receiving any message that I could capture after this intense week. The great stone under me was warm and cradled me gently in its great heaviness, allowing me to feel the grounding of its mass and composition. My mind opened and I got a distinct intuition with an image. I got that vertical time and horizontal/linear time have now crossed/come together. This is just like my photographs from 2010, and where it meets is inside of US, in our axis and how we ground the energy and participate with the EARTH in this way and bring our experience into our HEART and reach OUT from our HEART is what creates this greater being. That the EARTH is the HEART of our world, if we just get the H and move it to the front. Is this what my photos have been about? I even titled one “Crossing Time” (which echoes the shape I saw in my intuition - the vertical axis resembling a chalice or hourglass).
In fact, this reminds me that when I made a holiday card with this very image, the message I put within the axes, was “PEACE ON EARTH”, but I had used color and space to make it also say ONE HEART.
I wasn’t interested in generating more folds in the images, just the two, which open up new worlds in the images - whole new places to explore. Just like the mandalas.
Getting up from the boulder, I looked back to realize that the pareo I was resting on has a celtic design on it of a cross within a circle. Of course it does.
This last week, the road/way has been blocked twice, after seeing a bear cross my path from right to left. Both times I was unable to show up as expected. Both times I ended up in the ER with Dr. Hon. Both times a hand was x-rayed.
Bearing has changed...?
Much letting go of things and ways of being.
The mother and her children are making adjustments.
X-Rays (rays in two directions) --- seeing INSIDE --- Introspection (what bear medicine is about)
Specifically of the hand one uses - or mother’s giving hand and daughter’s receiving hand.
Bear with me.
Bear it with me.
Mother Bears child.
Get my Bearings.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Well, it's been quite a full almost three months since my last post. Sorry for the gap. Starting a new career while trying to get a mountain cabin compound back in order after leaving it for a year and a half has been something. And in the midst of all of that, my finest friend and companion vanished. Honeybear, you expanded my heart and soothed my soul more than I can express, and I hope you have peace, love and lots of half & half wherever you are now.
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- Nicola's Art Room
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